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Asked what services Circle of Friends provides, Carol Wilcox finds it easier to say what they don’t do. "Well," she says, hesitating, "we don’t give people money."

Carol was a visiting nurse ten years ago when she and fellow visiting nurse Sheila Collins saw a need that wasn’t being fulfilled. One of their patients was unable to cook, and when the husband too took sick there was no place for them to turn. Catholic churches could provide a meal at a soup kitchen, but neither husband nor wife was able to go and pick it up. Meals on Wheels had a waiting list.

Carol called for help; Larry and Margaret Zarek responded. Not only did they help the disabled couple, they became good friends with them. When the ailing wife died a short time later, they remained good friends of the husband.

Carol and Sheila had seen this picture before, and they knew help was needed for more than the one couple. They approached Sister Rosemary Burnham with the idea of forming a group at St. Lucy. Sister Rosemary and the parish staff supported the idea, and Circle of Friends became a reality.

Carol (who holds a BSRN from URI) is still a visiting nurse, now a weekend supervisor with the Fall River VNA. Husband Michael Medeiros - who built the family’s house in Portsmouth as well as houses in Tiverton - teaches at Portsmouth High School and coaches tennis there. They have three children: Jesse (19, a sophomore at URI), Allie (16, at Portsmouth HS), and Kevin (10, at Portsmouth Middle School). Jesse and Allie taught Religious Education to a First Communion class. (Carol was the adult classroom aide for that class). Kevin is an altar server.

Calls for help are sometimes generated when someone calls the church - or calls Carol or Sheila, who then match volunteers with those who need help. After that the volunteers do the work.

"Basically," she says, "we are there to help. If somebody needs us we’ll do it."

Volunteers may specify what they’re available to do, and when. Some volunteers have cooked; some have provided transportation; some have cleaned. "But I don’t know whether they’ve done windows," quips Carol. Volunteers may suggest new ways of helping: taking someone to the grocery; reading to a sight-impaired person; picking up a prescription for someone. Carol estimates there are "40 or so" people who have volunteered to help, and more are welcome.

Doesn’t Hospice do the same thing? Or Meals on Wheels? "We’re not out to reinvent the wheel," says Carol. If an existing resource is more suitable then they make a referral. But if a particular person’s (or family’s) need is not covered by what’s already there - that’s where Circle of Friends steps in. "It’s lonesome to be sick," says Carol. "It’s lonesome to be a caretaker. We don’t want people to feel lonesome."

Meetings? "Every three months or so we get together and cook chicken pies and apple crisps and have lunch together," says Carol. It has become a hallmark of the group that each volunteer takes along a chicken pie and an apple crisp on the initial visit. "It’s a fun group of people," says Carol. "We’ve become our own Circle of Friends."

Story and photo by Ed Weyhing

E-mail Ed Weyhing with corrections and suggestions.